Every Man Has His Price

Well, life is full of interesting developments. I had a talk with the President of Anvil Range Mining yesterday. He asked if I would consider the position of Director of Personnel. Art? I think it will have to take a back seat for a little while.

Dead End

I have pulled back from full-time carving to accept employment at the mine. Miranda wonders why, emphatic that carving is what I should be doing. She reminded me that should I finish the tusk I could easily clear the debts.

Employment Limbo

I have sent off my resume to The Mine and feel in limbo. Who am I?

By changing my plans and priorities so rapidly and completely, do I value myself? Have I applied for work because I am desperate for money? What becomes of all the effort expended on making art?

I want art to be my original contribution to the world, this I know, but do I need a job to pay the bills? The perennial question ...

Limiting Beliefs

I did a little work yesterday, and watched a lot of TV. The infomercials generally don’t catch my eye, but I watched Anthony Robbins’ half hour blurb. He sees hope based on passion, loosely defined. I am a little skeptical about the cult mentality that seeks out gurus who have 'the answers', though Robins does say some good things.

Robbins differentiates between motivation and passion: motivation fades but passion lasts.

He also refers to the power of limiting beliefs, explaining that we grow to the limits of our imagination and are limited in our growth by our limiting beliefs.

While swimming laps in the pool this morning, I thought about his words and wondered about my own passions and limiting beliefs. My passion is art, sculpture; my limiting beliefs are a little less clear.

I think one limiting belief is that I do not deserve to be successful, that I do not think I can be successful now or ever. I postpone my success to some future date so as not to be disappointed.

Another limiting belief may be that I shouldn’t plan for the future, as it either implies some kind of lack of trust in the present or more probably an unwillingness on my part to exclude any possibilities that might arise.

A limiting belief that I heard growing up “if you could make money at that, someone would have already thought about it, and would be doing it.”

A limiting belief from the Bible might be "there is nothing is new under the sun” - a real killer for creative types. But what about other lessons from the Bible? “Greater things than these shall ye do” or “Sing a new song”?

Coasting, Not Living

My blocks seem to be related to time, money or willingness. I think I'll start keeping a record of activities and a monthly tally of finances, to see where my time and money go. Though we make a lot, we seem to spend a lot. Also, as I've mentioned, I have been impressed lately with the brevity of life and therefore the importance of living each day, so I will find out what I do and make it conscious. Jesus' admonition to live each day takes on a renewed meaning, but it is something I need to remind myself about as I tend to coast rather more than I tend to live.

Which Comes First?

I continue to play the self-sacrificing saint all too often.

The thing I wish I was doing and still am not, is actually working on my art!

I read a quote recently that speaks to a tendency to place material security in front of practice. Reality, however, is reversed. First comes practice, then the ordering of affairs to achieve financial and other goals. This calls to mind Jesus' wisdom, "Seek first the kingdom of God and all else will be added to you."

I think that this is probably true. If we had waited to enroll in seminary, for instance, until all the finances were in place, we might never have gone. The flip side was that we lived in poverty.

Even now, with a fair amount of savings in RRSP's, I wonder when enough will be enough? When to risk leaving paid employment?

I should be working on my art.

The "Money" Issue

A serious challenge to my plans this evening for an art career: the "money" issue. I'll need to prove that my art can pay for itself and allow me to hold up my end of the financial responsibilities.