Expectations of Failure Chill

It is minus -48 degrees C. The wood stove is proving its worth again. Yesterday I was up until 6AM trying to thaw the upstairs water line. For some reason the hot water line would not thaw. In the end I went to bed, leaving the all the taps on and a few hours later the hot water thawed and poured into tub and sink.

I have been thinking about a tendency I've had since youth to perform well under low expectations and fold when expectations are raised. Perhaps it is my own underlying expectation of failure? Recently, I have created more positive expectations for my self. I believe I will succeed at work. I function without a doubt that I'll succeed and so I do, but there exists within a dark voice of pessimism. Parental fear perhaps? Wanting me to succeed, the voice I remember is one of great apprehension and focus on the possibility of failure.

I will be successful. I will not give up on what is important.